Well i hit my brick wall, so to speak, the other day. I flat out cried (and sorta laughed too) just from being so let down. obviously i didn't think i was going to change the world by coming here but it's a little hard to see change and its pretty much impossible to see large scale change. I started working at the orphanage this week which is definitely different than what i'm used to. today one of the teachers was sick so they combined classes and there were a good maybe 35 kids in one tiny room with one teacher and me. no supplies, just a chalk board and some slates and little books for the kids to write in. I'm helping a class of little ones; around 3-4 but they added in the older kids; probably around 6, so there was just no order in that room. definitely frustrating. some of the other girls are doing medical outreach and feel the same way. they don't feel they can truly help and are doing a lot of observing. i don't want to make it sound totally negative because it really has been so great being here so far but i've really learned a lot about myself and what i truly want, just within about a week.
it also smells here by the way. people pee everywhere and if you're a person who likes to know where their toilet is, this is not the country for you. the power hasn't gone out too many times, maybe 3 or 4 since i've been here and i came close to not having a shower the other night because the water was out. if it's out, we have to get a bucket from the tank in the back and take a bucket shower. i don't want to do that. i need my showers. but the smell is a mix of dirt, shit, BO, and diesel fuel exhaust. not fun. especially when you're riding in a tro tro or walking back 4 miles from the orphanage....
ok i'm complaining too much huh? it really is great here though. the girls i live with are so much fun. we went to a beach sort of near by last weekend and are going on a four day weekend trip to another beach this weekend. we'll do this dancing lesson thing the week after that, plus i really want to see the castles at cape coast. i feel like i do a lot in a day and have done a lot of different things just in the past week. we went to a hospital in Accra last week and i'm going to try to go with the other girls when they do rounds or counseling there. i want to go to the maternity clinic with one of the girls, even if she feels like she can't do much there, it would still be cool to observe. they have been talking about going to other orphanages in the area so i'll probably branch out too and try those out. it's cool that i'll get a lot of opportunities to see things here.
by now i think i've gotten used to the people just screaming obruni at me. the kids especially, could see you from a mile away and want to wave at you, just because you're white. the men kinda hit on us a lot too, i've gotten a lot of looks up and down, and a good couple of marriage proposals. they just want you for your money though. really, that's kind of the thing around here; if you're white the people think you're rich even if you have like barely enough money to get through the next semester of school (like me...) things are pretty cheap though, in some places. you get a bag of water for 5 peswas, which is like 5 cents. ice cream on the street is 50 peswas, a taxi ride could cost like 1 cedi (like a dollar) depending on where you're going. we take a taxi or tro tro to work in the morning which is like 30-40 peswas, then walk the 4 miles back. it's kinda nuts. but good for all the starch i'm eating. i want cereal sooooooooo bad.
ok well my time is almost up so i'm going to wrap things up but i'll try to write again soon!
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